I have my Dad to care for too (he doesn't have dementia but lives 120 miles away - they're divorced). She still asks him about going home and will not let us decorate or put pictures in her room in the care home because she will be going home. “Some days Mom is so sweet and appreciative, but other days she is angry at me and even hits out,” says Jean P., one caregiver who feels frustrated by her mother’s dementia. She was moved about a month ago to a home closer to my siblings and whilst she seems to be in a slightly better physical state, she is more aware that she is in a care home. She has no idea how tired and fed up I am with the whole situation. You must log in or register to reply here.

Then she found a way to love that mom too. Managing dementia behaviors may be difficult, but it’s not impossible. I visited her earlier this week and her last words were "I hope you feel guilty', she asked me to leave after a few minutes and refused to kiss me goodbye. How do I help her understand? Question: My mom, who has dementia, is in a nursing home. She still asks him about going home and will not let us decorate or put pictures in her room in the care home because she will be going home. I agree with canary that she should settle in time, My Mum has been in care for 6 months and overall she has settled (i.e. 'What kind of family are we, to leave her here'.... 'everybody is mad'.... 'staff are stealing'......'she is in prison'. Unfortunately ...she forget all of us ...who we are ...and that she had children. Mom still thinks she is in a hospital and has only been there for a week or two...she is no longer angry about us "putting her in there"....it is so difficult. 3 months in a very nice care home, and she is angry with me, cries hysterically and visits have become intolerable. You can only do what you can to keep her safe. My mum went into a care home in February, after her partner (who also has dementia left her). She hated me for "leaving her alone to get on with it". For example, a wife with dementia may try to attack her husband because she is afraid of the "strange man" in their house. She hated me for "leaving her alone to get on with it". Anyway, this is my story and not yours but based on what I read, I think your GG is probably gone. I really don't know what to do any more since the visits are making me feel so terrible.

She hardly ever thanks me or is grateful. I do know how you feel....it's terrible ...but that is dementia unfortunately

Its very, very hard to live through.

Actress Kimberly Williams-Paisley hated the dementia that made her mother seem like a different person—erratic, silent, sometimes angry. I am her only child. She was moved about a month ago to a home closer to my siblings and whilst she seems to be in a slightly better physical state, she is more aware that she is in a care home. She hates that we have 'dumped' her. Dad is 87 and visit everyday for hours on end...it is taking its toll but he feels so guilty and constantly has to be reminded of why she is there in the first place. I visited her earlier this week and her last words were "I hope you feel guilty', she asked me to leave after a few minutes and refused to kiss me goodbye. klo, mom has been in a care home for almost 3 years now. is absolutely fine when we are not there according to staff and non family visitors). I'm really interested in this thread, therefore, but have no advice to offer.My experience has been that my Mum's not settling at all.

We can be angry at ourselves for not sticking to a diet and our resolution to lose 10 pounds before summer!Persons with Alzheimer’s disease and the other dementias have good days and bad days, too. “Triggers like trying to get her into the shower are easy to understand, but sometimes her … My mum went into a care home in February, after her partner (who also has dementia left her). Since then the disease has progressed, but she still knows who everyone is. We can be angry at a thing, like an unreliable car that breaks down again and again. Yes, I think this is pretty common. Its very, very hard to live through. I don't know how far it is reasonable to just accept verbal abuse and whether, even with cognitive impairment, it is still OK to say to her that her behaviour is unacceptable? That must have been very upsetting for you - and guilt inducing! This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register. I agree with canary that she should settle in time, My Mum has been in care for 6 months and overall she has settled (i.e. My mum went into a care home in February, after her partner (who also has dementia left her). Mom still thinks she is in a hospital and has only been there for a week or two...she is no longer angry about us "putting her in there"....it is so difficult. She doesn’t have dementia but has a way of putting me down. It's been a horrible 8 years. Dad is 87 and visit everyday for hours on end...it is taking its toll but he feels so guilty and constantly has to be reminded of why she is there in the first place.

She has congestive heart failure, and arthritis, but other than that she gets along pretty well.

I'm really interested in this thread, therefore, but have no advice to offer.

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