And they cast it wrong. And they designed it wrong. You know, I think my mind was just distracted by that ad I saw earlier today. Why? Why?

[Channel Awesome tagline] (Ripley takes a flamethrower to the clone (an audio clip of Homer Simpson screaming is heard) and destroys the lab and the rest of the clones) The mother of Amanda Ripley and a warrant officer on the Nostromo, she … We know these guys are alien chow and we're just looking at the clock until they get munched on. Ha-hey!) NC (v/o): Did I mention the director was French? There's two kinds of aliens on this ship. (as the baby alien) I just want to eat humanity and devour bwains. NC (as 2nd alien): The Brad Jones cameo was pointless! She was the host for these monsters! (proceeds to do so) Trust me, I'll put it to good use. NC (v/o): This leads to the general and his army of shoulder-hair (General Perez, played by Dan Hedaya) to do the most bad-ass thing this division can think of: run the fuck away! NC (v/o): This looks like a job for a pointless CG shot! Very stealth, very stealth! (The alien jumps into the ship and kills the soldiers) Ripley: Go on. NC (v/o): Now, this scene is creative and allows for some cool visuals, but when you really get down to it, it's totally pointless. (normal)But they shoot a hole in the window, which forces him to literally get sucked out. NC (v/o): But the new baby doesn't take to her mother kindly. What anyone would do if they felt something starting to pop out of their stomach: gets up, goes for a walk, beats the living shit out of a guy, and (EDITOR'S NOTE: Purvis probably wanted to kill the guard that way as means of sacrificing himself in the process.) After Wren betrays the group, Call is revealed to be an Ripley is taken to the Alien nest, where she finds Gediman, still alive and partially cocooned. Yeah, things have come a long way since before, but DUMB IS STILL DUMB! Some of the gross-out deaths are creatively over-the-top, but for the most part, it's just a lame, lame flick, and a really disappointing way to end what is now the poorly-named Johner: Must be a chick thing. NC (v/o): So for a while, we see people on the ship mosey around, being boring. (Ripley hits Johner in the groin with the ball and punches him) Ripley: (whispers) It's too late.

Gediman: Oh, look. The harp glissando plays again as the screen fades back to the alien) The Alien Queen, having developed a The studio initially imagined that the film would center around a clone of the character Newt from Jeunet asked ADI to lean towards making the human/Alien The underwater scene was the first to be shot, and for its filming Stage 16 at Fox Studios was reconstructed into a 36-by-45-meter tank, 4.5 meters deep, containing 548,000 gallons of water.Director Jeunet wanted to display Ripley's new powers, including a scene in which Ripley throws a basketball through a hoop while facing the opposite direction. It was filmed at the 20th Century Fox studios in Los Angeles, California. I'm so looking forward to not getting attached to this character because, obviously, he's going to die! NC (v/o): Yes, like they have acid-proof cells to keep the aliens in--oh, wait, they don't.

Did you (the director) even (An animated facehugger latches onto NC, and he just flicks it off) NC (v/o) (as Gediman): She said "fuck". It's pretty emotionally clustered! NC: Yeah, allow me to put this (scene) in my "Bitch Later" folder. Oh, yes, do a little tae-bo. As they escape the kitchen, the Xenomorph returns and blinds Christie, who sacrifices himself to kill the Xenomorph so the others can escape. (Cut to a scene where Gediman is "interacting" with the alien) She's not human. (Photoshopped picture of Air Fuck You's) Meanwhile, Call tries to break into the security system that is so high-tech and so airtight that she has a key-chain of choices to foil it with. No Questions!" Would you really miss anything if this part of the story was cut out? NC (v/o): Uh, wouldn't it have made more sense if he just kept the gun? I could imagine a situation where we finish telling the story. I feel a longing from fans for the story to be finished. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. (normal) Even at his most psychotic, they still try to throw that shit in! NC (as Call): This lesbian tease for the trailer better not interrupt my tea party! This sequel was made in fan response to the fact that nobody was satisfied with the (poster of NC: So, let's see why in space, nobody can hear you SUCK! NC (as an alien): Oh, boy, it's like a cup of noodles! NC (as Wren): And I get to say my lines more flamboyant!

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